I believe I've won the sleep battle when nap time comes around. I walk down the hallway and open the door to their room. The babies follow me, knowing that they get to join me. We read a book or two, sometimes they are in their cribs and sometimes they are on the floor with me. And then I turn on a favorite CD and make sure they have a stuffed friend and a binky. I quietly tell them that I love them as I close the door behind me. Usually there isn't a peep of complaint and by the third or fourth song, they are sound asleep.
But why, oh why does this not work at night???
If I do the exact same thing with them at night, they might be quiet for a minute or two, but then they start screaming. Do I let them scream? Do I rush back in and scoop them up? Do I wait a moment and then go in to comfort them and leave again?
I've tried all of these things and nothing seems to work. It's an hour long battle, sometimes more, to get them to go to bed at night! It's really very frustrating.
Last night, I was certain Katie could have put herself to sleep, but Josie was screaming and almost threw up, so I had to get her before she made a mess everywhere. If I go in the room and either of them sees me, they get really upset all over again if I leave without them, so Sam cuddled Katie while I calmed Josie.
Josie was asleep with about a half hour and then I took Katie, who was up for another 45 minutes, and then woke up when I put her down. I let her try to go to sleep again on her own and she did try, but was screaming again about 20 minutes later. Oy! Another half hour and she was asleep, for good this time.
I just don't know what else to do to get them to go to sleep at night. It's so simple during the day.
If anyone out there has some constructive advice, I would greatly appreciate it!
1 comment:
Routine is key. What time do you want them in bed? For years, the answer for us was 7:00. Now it's 8, but that's because story time is longer. So pick your bedtime and stick with it.
We have dinner at 5:30. If Davey is late, we don't wait; we just save his spot. He's usually home long before we're done eating, just late. Everything is usually cleaned up by 6:30-6:45. Bathtime begins right after dinner, with the unhelpful little ones getting in the tub, but since all of yours are little and need to be watched, you'd have to work that out a bit. I like bath after dinner and before bed to wash off all the food and dirt they accumulate during the day.
By 7:15, teeth are brushed and everyone is gathered in the living room for stories. One Rosie book, one picture book (sometimes two if they finished up by 7) and a chapter of our read aloud. Then prayers and tuck ins.
My kids are older, though. Here's what I would do if I was you, aiming for a 7:00 bedtime.
5 or 5:30 dinner. Don't wait for Sam; save him a plate to reheat when he arrives. Consistency here is all important! Put your dishes in the sink and wipe off the table and the highchairs. You can wash up later, but food stuck to highchairs is bad, bad, bad. You'll need a chisel if you wait! (This is why I don't have highchairs, by the way. Just a booster pulled up to the table, which is easier to clean.)
6:15 Get those babies into the tub. All of them at once. Wash their hair and faces (the dirtiest spots) and pick two or three days a week for body washing (soapy night, I call it). Ours are tuesday and friday. If Sarah needs a bath, which is probably every two or three days, wash her now while the twins are playing. Pick a different day for her baths than the twins soapy nights, just for your own sanity! I'd say Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. Pull out Sarah and wrap her up. Drain the tub and wrap up the twins. Brush their teeth as you pull them out, if they have teeth. Now you don't have to come back to the bathroom.
The kids don't need to be in the tub for more than 10 or fifteen minutes.
6:30 or so, you should be assembly lining diapers and jammies. they should know by now or be taught to lie still while you tend to this. It shouldn't take but a couple of minutes, because the twins can help get their arms and legs in!
By 6:45 you should be reading a story if you want, sing a little bedtime prayer or lullaby as you lay them down and kiss them, tell them in your most soothing voice how much you love them, never let your soft smile waver, no matter what. Then leave.
If they fuss, don't take them out of their room. Don't let it get bad either. You can probably tell whether it's a half-hearted cry that they'll settle from or whether they need your help. Stay calm and gentle, never raise your voice above barely audible, soothe the fussy one and kiss the calm one before you leave again! She wants to know that you haven't forgotten her just because she's quiet. Repeat as often as needed. Do not remove them from the room, even if you pick them up! It's a ploy on their part to stay up. Really. In a very few days, they'll get it, but you must be consistent in the meantime. Sometimes, it helps to come back BEFORE they get mad. I've done this especially with Rosie. Come back after a minute, then after another three, then 5, then ten then 15. All this time, they are staring at the door waiting for you to pop back in. They don't even think to cry for you. This is a fun game! And they'll fall asleep waiting. In between pop-ins, you can put your dishes in the dishwasher and wipe up the counters and whatnot, put away the toys in the living room, etc.
There will occassionally be setbacks, but you will make it through because of this established routine.
Well, that's pretty much all my bedtime advice, and bedtime runs like clockwork around here. Good luck, and keep me posted about how it goes!
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